p.s. i love you

assalamualaikum, hullo peeps,! okay. my blog had 10 inch of dust since i'm dead busy+lazy to update my blog. and there's no stories to rant about. haha. okay. i'm lying. there's a lot to tell but i'm just too lazy. hehe. but now i just finished my final exam(which had successfully made me go migrain+messed up) and i think i should update my blog to rant since i'm kinda lack of credit to call my dear friend, andra radhy though i missed her so much. i missed our old times, i missed my time with my hotels friends last year, i missed my girlfie, nabila who always inspire me to study for my pmr, i missed aqilah who always listen to me and made me think rationally, i missed people in bilik iqra' 3 last year who never fail to make me laugh hysterically. hemm.... seriously. i missed them a lot. there's more than thousands of our memories. they coloured my life colourfully, which made me wanna go back to my old school but i just can't though my mom did ask me whether i wanna go back or not. bu i just can't turn back. i missed Bahiyah's Police Cadet. i missed my time with them. i missed to marching with them. i missed to share foods with them. i missed every moment with them.

to be honest......before i went to my current school which is kupsis, i expected more than bahiyah. you know. just because of it's SBP school status. hem. i did istikharah but the result is kupsis. so.....though i kinda feel like i don't wanna go cause i'd already like the environment in bahiyah. and i love my class, my friends and my teachers so much. but who am i to questioned what had written for me. so i go. leaving all the opportunities that i might not get in kupsis. since this is end of year, i can make a conclusion : i wish, i can undo time. that's all. it's not that i regret studying here but......i just sad. i'm totally sad. it's not my wish to humiliate my current school, but this is my blog and this is where i rant. first when i went to this school, i was so shocked. surely it's building is pretty and all because this school just 3 years old. but the students got no sbp's culture y' know. i can say, asma, bahiyah, ibrahim and other school which we came from, got more sbp's culture. but one thing that i respect this school because of it's islamic environment. not so islamic but, islamic. haha. it got no entertainment, it got no niche area to be the identity of this school (but the principal said, he want english as the niche area which my friends and i found very amusing). the students are so lame (including me), the school itself are so lame. i think everything is lame here. it's not that i'm not being greatful as there's somebody out there even got no school but here i am complaining about my school. but it's the truth.

my du'a is, i don't want to be a seniors like my form fiver's senior this year. nuazubillahiminzalik i be like 'em all. bitches and hypocrite they are. uh oh, not all of them, but some of them. yes, sape terase amik je. if you are nit bitches and hypocrite then you don't have to feel mad at me because i wrote these. and i had right to say 'em all bitches cause they are bitch to me. everyday bitching on me. i'm tired of it and i'm sick of it. don't they got other work to do,? instead night and day they are worrying about me and my friends, bitching on us, spying on us, and tell their friends fitnah about us as many as they can. yeah. truth about my senior this year. i repeat, not all of them but some of them. i wonder.....whether they ever see themselves on the mirror,? cause whatever they say to us, is like they said to themselves. me and my friends usually ignored whatever we heard they say about us cause we got no time for that. baik la kitorang do something else y mndtgkan faedah utk kitorang than we too be like them which is stupidly bitching on 'em. but....we're human too. till when we can hold on our anger. i lied if i said we didn't feel anything when we heard them saying. it's true that we don't give a damn on whatever they say but....we have patience too. the final blow is when on of them, which called rhinosaures (to be polite but harhsly most of students in kupsis called her bulldog cause of her attitude and face) "accidentally" pushed my friend when there was obviously, the road is big enough for 5 people to walk at the same time. hum hum. luckily my friend didn't fall in the drain.

when she's with her gang, and either one of us is near them or we near them, they will spoke aloud, sarcastically about us. ha ha ha. what we did in return, just plastered a poker face while saying sarcastically back to them. *sigh* can't believe that we be children like them. berani mengata bila dgn geng, suruh kata face to face x nak, mengata belakang pun berani. how childish and stupid they are. uh oh, before that, i wanna stressed on these statement which is, my friends and i, NEVER ever mind their business. lantak diorang lah diorang nk buat ap. dah besar and ad otak pun. =,=

hemm. btw, two days before spm, my favourite teacher who knew my problem had asked her to confront me in the music room. so there i am with athifa, confronted her, asking what on earth that she didn't like about us. surprisingly, she did not want to spill everything. apparently she's afraid. and there's my teacher accompany us but she's currently doing her work. she didn't interrupt in our problem. hem...she said she and her batch(girls only) didn't like me cause of fauzan. okay. she said that fauzan used to be anti couple last year. but then this year he couple with you. she said that he's a hypocrite, lier. and he has money(wealth) to attract girls. ekhem. none of she said can shake my trust towards him. wll. i did asked him weather any of she said is true. and the truth is he used to be such critics towards her because of her own attitude(it's like most of her own batch didn't like her). he acting like bitch(anti couple and etc) only to her. hahaha. i knew the story. and she didn't even admit that he did anything towards us. such a noble person she is. they made me cry several times and made me go mad and tension. seriously. i've never felt so tense in my 16 years life. but to think back, such a stupid reason they hated me. they hated me being with fauzan. they hated us being ourselves, they hated us being together, having a great bond of friendship, they hated us cause we live our life, they hated us cause we stay strong no matter what they did and said to us.

dah la. malas nk cerita lagi. haha. dah lupa sbb bnda da lepas. =..=

************************

new school.new life.new friends

yes, yes it is, so true.

:)

baru2 ni ad baca entry baru aqilah samad....

i kinda touched by her post and some of her status....

:) she might thought that i'd forgotten all my old friends at bahiyah and happy with my new friends and new school. first of all... i would like to apologize to my friends that felt like i'd forgotten them, for not getting in touch with you all.

haha. idk why, i'm just too lazy.

and as you feel that i'd forgotten you....i also feel that...

all of you had move on your life, and get over me.

it's like....when i tried to have a conversation with you all, we'll be awkward.

we'll chat, then we'll fell silent.

i'm not texting you or tag a post of you in fb doesn't mean i soo get over you.

doesn't mean i forgot you, doesn't mean that i never thought of you.

fyi, i'm always thought of you all, missing every moment with you,

repeating again and again in my head. it's just i didn't show it.

me and my friends, (sengal's)

we have a strong bonds of friendship because we felt the same way.

we are in the same boat.

sama-sama rasa regret pindah. sama-sama jealous tgk profile kwn2 lama,

sama-sama jealous tgk pictures of our old school friends, remembering our old times with our old friends. it's just that. you don't know how i felt there.

how i struggled just to cope with my new environment.

everything is new here. do you think it's easy enough for me just to get over my old life, my old fame, my old friends,? naah. that's what hijrah for. to strengthen your heart.

entahla. move on my life doesn't mean i forget my old friends.

premise 1 : i missed my friends.

premise 2 : i move on my life.

conclusion : i never forgot all my memories with them.

p.s i love you

**************************

humphh. rasenye smpai sini je kut....malas dah la nk type.

lain kali update lagi. :B

p.s errr. sebenarnya ak pun x tahu ap ya aku tulis.

sorry for the wrong grammar (saya budak baru belajar)

errr....dah baca jgn komen, cause aku tulis ap y aku fikir. :)

fullstop.

posted by amalienaziyad. d[0.o]b